Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
