Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
