But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Text me some of your sweat
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
