we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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