Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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