I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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