I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
