Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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