We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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