She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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