so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
