Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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