You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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