Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
