As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
