i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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