im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
