yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
