Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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