ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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