Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
