note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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