I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
