i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
