I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I smell stomach acid.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
