He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
