Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize