K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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