this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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