I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
