dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
