she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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