I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
