"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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