i don't like sucking hair
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
