I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize