I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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