guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
