bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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