he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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