So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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