he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
