I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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