am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
