Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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