I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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