I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
