He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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