Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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