I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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