Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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