How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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