i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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