drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
