I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.