This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize