paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
